The Baal Teshuva Diaries

 File this under: things they need to tell Baalas Teshuva when they have kids. Tottini.  I just got my daughter an entire summer wardrobe for under 45 dollars.  The best part is that she's little so she's going to be wearing these up until the weather changes, which, as we know, happens in late November these days. Cue fight about global warming... Seriously though, one day I'm going to write a book called " All the Things No One Told Me About Being Frum " and I'll offend literally everyone on the planet.   Supposing it's still around, what with all the global warming.

 My toddler has a new skill.  And it's actually a useful one! *  This morning while she was dumping out my purse, as one does, she came across an old lesson plan I no longer have use for.  It was all crumpled up.  She brought it over to me, waving, because she loves paper.  "Can you put that in the garbage?" I asked.   Miss nineteen months and not all that verbal, looked at me, ran straight into the kitchen, opened the garbage, and threw out the lesson plan.  I praised her and rewarded her with her favorite thing "Nana".  It means banana.  Jokes on my mother in law, who insisted on being called "Nanna".  If you guys had just let us make you bubbe and zaide like we wanted, this never would have happened.   Anyway, it's a big deal.  Now we have two people in the house who occasionally throw their garbage out.   This is a parenting blog now.  (*most of her skills are havoc-based) 

 Ok you're reading this blog.  You know I'm not actually illiterate.  Well, in English anyway.   I am, however, pretty close to illiterate in Hebrew.  It's not that I haven't tried.  I've spent plenty of time in Ulpan classes, trying to actually learn Hebrew.  I was exposed to Hebrew even less than most BT, because I'm not coming from a reform or conservative background- My parents were totally secular.   As it turns out, people with dyscalulia (Hi. It's me) often have trouble with learning foreign languages, which, sadly, is what Lashon kodesh is to me.   I struggle through davenning. I'm mostly able to daven shemonei esrei from memorization.  If I never offer to take a perek of tehillim, it's not because I don't care.  I literally don't know how. (Should I be admitting this in public?   probably not)  When my husband and I first got married, he was very into learning Yiddish and wanted to bring up the...