What is sleep even?

April 23, 2023

I think someone gave my toddler sixteen cups of coffee.

If it was you… I’m not mad, I just want to talk.

Seriously, this child has been up since 1am screaming. We did diaper change. I tried to feed her. I’ve tried to snuggle her and put her back to sleep. Nothing works

When I tell people I have trouble with sleeping they tend to assume one of two things

1: I never sleep trained

And

2: I’m not strict enough

Because I have a toddler sitting on me and several nights (weeks?) of poor sleep under my belt, im going to debunk those myths right now

1: I sleep trained . Not as early as I would’ve liked but… my husband read the APA (or whomever- one of those medical organizations) recommendations that children should sleep in the parents room until at least six months, preferably one year and got a bassinet that attached to the bed. I would’ve preferred her in her own room as soon as she didn’t need multiple feedings through the night (I had an undersized infant and a pediatrician on my case to feed every two hours up till four months. I don’t want to talk about it. *)

Anyway we lived in a one room apartment u til she was five months anyway . Six months? I don’t remember . The past is a blur. The future is a blur. The present is a blur. I didn’t sleep this week.

If you’ve ever tried to talk someone with Asperger’s out of something, especially something they believe to be a research study done by a reputable organization,than you know why I gave up and let her sleep in her bassinet until six months even though I was getting negative sleep. And if you don’t know, what are you even doing reading my blog?

At six months I sleep trained. Cold turkey. It was hard for about two weeks . But then she slept . So why am I awake, holding a toddler right now ? This leads to number two

2: people then assume that I’m not strict enough about sleep.

I am very strict about sleep.

But a rule I have for myself is that if she’s been crying for over an hour I should go try to fix the problem.

Yes an hour

Sometimes closer to an hour and a half

Now the other half of moms who aren’t on my case for being too strict will jump down my throat for letting my toddler cry that long. I warn you. I haven’t slept in ages and am at the end of my rope for multiple reasons this is just the latest cherry on top. So I might throw punches

Anyway my seventeen month old has had at least two hour and a half long crying sessions in her crib this night. She went to sleep easily at 8:17pm . I put her down cozily in her crib. At one o’clock she woke up. Commence screaming. After listening to said screaming for one and a half hours I went to try to fix the problem. I held her for awhile. She was as happy as a clam. I changed her diaper and put her down at 2:40This time I didn’t pick her up until nearly 4am. I wondered if she was hungry. I was hungry. She refused food and drink. Now I have a not crying, not quite asleep, toddler in my lap. I also have a terrible cough that I developed today. She has this cough as well. I am hoping that is why she won’t sleep.

Yes we are at the point where I hope my toddler is sick. Because otherwise she just won’t sleep . And as the only one in the house who seems remotely bothered by full volume toddler screams at three am , I really need her to sleep

* I will definitely talk about it