Things Fall Apart

 (The things, in this case, are my placenta)

I spent the majority of my night last night at the hospital. This is not As dramatic as it sounds . My pregnancies tend to run this way. As in, by the third trimester things start breaking down. Truly, I wasn’t even very sick. But I had unusual cramps all Shabbos. So,Motzei Shabbos I called in to the after hours hotline and they told me to come in anyway. I then tried to convince them that while I was uncomfortable from the cramping, it didn’t feel like labor. The doctor and my husband then conspired to convince me to come into the hospital anyway, so I left my husband at home with the sleeping baby and went to the hospital. You’ll note from the fact that I left my husband at home that I was pretty sure I wasn’t in labor. 

This is what counts as a vacation when you’re pregnant with a toddler at home 


They ran a bunch of tests , and determined that I wasn’t in labor. Then they sent me home. At three am. I’m pretty tired . I read a fascinating book while waiting for all the fetal monitoring to be done. 

While I’m not in labor yet( hooray!) I am very, very, very uncomfortable. Cramping aside, the pain from my back and legs just existing on an everyday level is way worse this pregnancy. But hey, at least I don’t have HG this time around! 

My OB and the L&D doctor told me, reassuringly, that this is just what happens with pregnancies. The more kids you have, the worse your pregnancies feel and sooner.  Excuse me? This is not a recipe for success. This does not make me want to have a big family. This does not make me feel encouraged about the beautiful mitzvah of bringing children into the world. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GOING TO KEEP GETTING WORSE? 

Yeah I have ten weeks to go still and upright movement is getting pretty close to being off the list of things I do. Which is difficult, as I teach toddlers all day and they have a strong tendency to get themselves into dangerous situations if they don’t have an adult chasing them around. 

They also don’t nap unless you sit next to their cots in the floor and stroke them. At which point it feels like your back is breaking, and you can’t actually get off the floor afterwards. 

On any given day , 2-5 of them will not get out of their parent’s car without being lifted . Approximately one of my toddlers is still small enough that lifting him causes me no additional pain. And he’s the one who hops out of the car and runs into school on his own.

My very own at home toddler has obliged me by learning to walk and really taking off. She’s not as interested in being carried anymore. For which I thank her. However she does like to get into things, and has used her newfound mobility to increase havoc output by 50%. Still, Mama’sproud of her. 

In effort to actually survive this next month and a half until the school year is over (forget the last three weeks before my due date. Actually, I’m hoping for another 37weeker just like my last one) I’ve  created a a list of  things I will no longer be doing between now and June 16th.

1: cleaning my house. 

Yes I know it is goin to be a complete disaster. But the physical cost at this point is just NOT WORTH IT


2: dressing up for anything. . You may wonder why dressing up is hard, physically..

.3: picking up my own kid. Sorry, honey. I’m putting her on my lap, but walking around holding her is going to have to wait. On the other hand, she’s way more interested in running around until she literally passes out from exhaustion these days.


4: making challah. It’s cancelled until further notice 

5: actually caring about anything balabust-ish. 

Also cancelled until further  notice


Is any of this sustainable ? No. Not really. But I had to make a choice. In my perfect world , I’d quit working and spend what limited energy I have on light housework to keep things sort of afloat  until the baby arrives.  It the world isn’t perfect, and we’re currently dependent on my income as a family ( I laugh hysterically whenever I think about this fact). 

So no, the house will be even worse than usual when the baby gets here, and everyone knows postpartum women are up to so much cleaning. But what am I going to do about it? This is the way things are. 

 On a completely unrelated  note, can those of you with multiple children confirm or deny (please deny) that pregnancy keeps getting worse the more you do it?

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