Pesach Cleaning for Dummies

First of all, if you haven't yet, go read https://ishayirashashem.substack.com/p/housekeeping-motivation-12-inspirational because she pretty much summarizes it and my posts tend to get very specific and personal.

(Have you ever noticed how introverts can't shut up about themselves on the internet?  It's a real problem.  We should form a support group and then not show up, because we're too introverted to talk to people in real life) 

Second, let's address this rumor.  I've heard that there are some people who actually like cleaning for Pesach.  I know a few of them.  They don't seem like pathological liars to me, but I'm forced to draw that conclusion.  If you are one of these women, please comment below. And come clean my house.  I need to do further research on your tribal customs.  *

Now to get to the point. And this post is mostly a vent, so I'm sorry:  

I did something crazy this Pesach, something that will have balabustas everywhere rolling in their graves.  (Yes, I know there are such things as real live balabustas, and I repeat, if this is you, please come clean my house). 

I put my husband, who is between jobs, in charge of the Pesach cleaning.  It's his problem. What kind of horrible wife am I?! 

Well, let's see. Normally, my work allows me to take one or two personal days to clean for Pesach.  However, this year, my baby and I were sick for nearly the entire month of November and December, leading to me being all out days off.  Taking time off from work is frankly, more trouble than its worth.  Again, I teach toddlers. 

My own toddler, if she actually counts as a toddler, because we’re still waiting on toddling, has hit a Phase. The main features of this phase are being extremely clingy and refusing everyone but Mom. 

Lastly, as I mentioned before, if pregnancy was graded I’d be… somewhere between a C- and D. I struggle. Standing for extended periods is not really accessible for me. Somehow I do it eight hours a day with the toddlers but once Im not legally responsible for someone else’s child, forget about it! 

So all this is why I put my husband in charge of Pesach cleaning. In his defense, so far he has cleaned most of the basement. I’ve cleaned one storage box that I’ve been storing clothes the baby has outgrown in.  I wasn’t going to clean it  but he told me there might be hametz in there and, as much as I hate to admit it, there actually was. I have no idea how.  

I’m putting our amazing cleaning lady in charge of vacuuming out the couch and crevices of my living room and den, and I said I’d do the upstairs. I’m usually responsible for the car which I don’t mind. This is what passes for getting out of the house with a clingy “toddler” apparently. (“Toddler” is in quotes because she looks like a baby to me. And maybe it’ll shame her into walking)And my work bag is basically all hametz at this point.  It’s become a storage point for pretzels and crackers- aka pregnancy lunches . I’m thinking of burning it. Good excuse to get a nice new purse, right? I’m leaving my husband the kitchen. It’s the worst part of the job, frankly .

I’ll let you all know if I’m still married in a few weeks time .**

*yes, I’m going back to the ethnography metaphor. It’s fun 

**this is a joke… probably …